I know what I am when you are here, my place becomes so clear.

I'd gotten used to the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

When you're in pain for so long you just get used to it.

It's weird to say but now that the feeling's gone I kinda do miss it.

I guess you could say while it lasted I remained faithful but were you the same .. ?

I now understand the expression never say never, things change, people change, everything changes.

I guess really do miss the grasp you had on me, although it was tight and demanding, it was also warm and comforting.

It was nice to be so consumed in something.

When your reality becomes unreal you need to give yourself something real to hold onto, that's where you come in.

Or maybe you were just an escape from my reality, whatever you were, I miss you.

I miss the sense of accomplishment you gave me after a long day, the sense of control you gave me and how clear you seemed to make things.

You made me feel tired and dizzy and when I looked into your eyes I wanted to vomit.

yet, I miss you.

and I'm seriously regretting the fact that I lost hold of you.

wow, I really lost hold of you.

I can't pinpoint when but it's a shame, really.

I'm no longer satisfied and though I may sound crazy I need everything you were back.

I'm just having trouble putting myself back on track.

The truth is, I'm scared.

As of right now, I'm the only one who knows what I'm talking about.

I haven't even told my best friend about you.

And I know I should be able to trust her

and don't get me wrong I do trust her

and I REALLY want to tell her.

But I know how I'd react if she were to tell me the same thing.

and frankly, I don't want that reaction.

Cause I don't want to let you go.

Not yet.

Could you be a little more predictable, please ?

People are always saying how predictability pisses them off.
yes, I may have been one of those people.
But everyone has their limits, right ?

I always thought you'd be the type to keep an open mind.
you know, never say never ?

You'd left me breathless before but never like this.
Cause as those words floated out of your mouth and formed a noose around my neck;
I reilized you were just being unpredictable.
and technically I was forewarned.

I know it was said a while ago and you're opinions may have changed.
and maybe you're in a different position now or maybe you just need to be proved wrong.

It hurts, you know.
To have a perfect picture in your head.
then for it to be shattered.

You've held my attention for this long.
I know it's not going anywhere anytime soon.
So for the time being I'll try and prove your theory wrong.

I mean,I should've seen it coming. I knew you had your guard up.
but i didnt know how strong it was.
and now I know.
The only word I can use to describe how I'm feeling right now is shocked.

Because now none of what I was thinking makes sense.

I knew I didn't know you.

And that's not what I was trying to say.

The point is that I want to get to know you;

and I want you to get to know me.

There's something I've been wanting to tell you.It may come as a shock but I've prepared myself for the worst.but don't you worry cause I'm not expecting you to make a sound.

before I say anything I should apologize;I can tell you're one of those people.the kind of person who says things like; "You should take things slow." , "Wow, that's desperate" and "She's just throwing herself at him."and belive me, I tried to take things slow.

I mean, I am taking things slow.
I couldn't really be taking them any slower.

Just sometimes you have to take things as they come or forever they'll remain unknown.I just don't want to wonder what could've been anymore.

Just please,belive me when I say ;iloveyou.

I can't belive I just said that but there's no turning around

Never Satisfied.

What was it ? ; I have no idea.
It wasn't your good looks
Or how nice you were.
Cause in this situation; none of those apply.
All I know is that it was there.
For what reason, I don't know.
All I really know is that you must've been different
Cause it doesn't usually work the way it did.
Usually when someone asks me why?; I have an answer.
And right about now, I should be hating you.
Just like everyone else who's on my side.
But somehow I don't.
it's not hate; but It's definitely not love.
Yet for some reason I'm still not satisfied.
I know I should be happy; things didn't exactly crash and burn.
And I know I should be sad; things didn't exactly work out the way I wished they would've.
Yet I'm neither happy or sad.
Why ?; I don't know.
You tell me.

I should feel accomplished; I have nothing left to give, or say to you.
but I still feel like I do.
All I really know is that what we had is gone
and I can't do anything about it
and I don't think I want to
I'm not sure what it is I want to do.

Sorry; in advance.

I read your thoughts;
I don't think you remember that mine exist.
I feel bad, you seem so sad, lonley and broken.
I could help, I know I could;
but I don't think you remember my help exists.

I know you like the back of my hand;
but you don't know where I stand, or fall.
You barely know me at all.

It sucks to think I know so much about someone who doesn't even know the begining.
I just wish I could explain and you'd understand.
You don't seem to think you have room for trust, and you probably don't.
So I'm not asking that you trust me, not yet.
Just that you give me a chance, everyone deserves a chance, right?
It may seem fake, but it's really not.
You hear it everyday, it must seem like an echo.
And you are in an empty space.
but I hear it everyday too, it does seem like an echo.
And I am in an empty space.
So in advance I want to apolagize.
If I lose control of myself, it slips out and I seem unsincere or mundane, I'm sorry.
It must be an akward position, but I'm sure you've got it down.
I might not be able to see through it, a smile like yours could convince me anything is true.
But please don't use the same routine on me
Cause it's not what you think, it's not the same as every other time.
And hopefully one day you'll realize what I realized.
I'm here if you need me.
Thanks :)