What's with my addiction to things I can't have ?

I keep reaching for things that I can't have or shouldn't want.

Thinking they'll make things better but they just keep making things worse.

and the truth comes out..

most girls my age are attaching themselves to anything and everything they can.
me, not so much.
when you're living in a world where the clock moves at 100 miles per hour
and everything can change drastically in a matter of seconds
I'm walking on a tipe rope
and it's all i can do
not to hold on.

where does my time go ?

lately panic attacks come daily,
today's no exception.

my current panic attack -- why I'm the only one panicking about all of this.

They say oppostie's atract but I'm not too sure about that.

I can tell you think you know who I am,
you look through me like you know me inside and out.
But do you really ?
I haven't said half there is to say
so please, before you go
and make your assumptions.
listen.

We're ready, you know it too.
the world isn't waiting on us anymore
it's us waiting on them.
and I can't wait for the fun to begin. (:

I can smell the fear in your breath
and I can see it in your eyes.
You've got too much talent to be hiding behind these lies.
do remember growing up and wishing you were a princess in a faraway land?
do you still dream?
or did you lose your dreams along with the memories from last night?
what are you afraid of?
-"Oh, sweetheart put the bottle down. You've got too much talent."

Before you go, I just wanna say;
I'm sorry, for everything I ever did that was wrong,
like the time I ran away to the park, or the time I didn't come home from school,
having to get picked up from the principals office and wanting to break every rule.
I know I've said some pretty hurtful things that we both know I didn't mean.
and I've caused only the most embarrassing of scenes.
It's hard, to go through this right now.
cause I can't imagine how life would be without you.
I know you're going to send me away, don't feel bad.
you're right it is best for me.
I can't guarantee I will but I can promise I'll try my hardest to make you proud.
I'm scared that when I say thank you I might have to thank the sky.
I love you all the numbers.

QUOTES;

All I'm asking is don't make promises you can't keep,
and don't say things you don't mean because in the end,
those things mean everything.

girl: rumor has it, you like me.
boy: no, truth has it i love you.

wouldn't it be ironic,
if at this moment you were thinking of me
as i was thinking of you?

I'm a broken record.

Once again; three topics --

Don't hate me for something I don't mean to do
and don't get angry when I say that I don't know.
I know you want the honest truth;
the honest truth is that I don't know.
I have no idea,
no clue.
maybe I'm scared
or just not used to this.

I'm sorry, for all the mistakes I keep making.
you must hate me so much.
but that's exactly it; I'm trying so hard not to make mistakes anymore
but I guess there's somethings i just don't know how to not screw up.
I'm so used to brushing things off and pretending that they're nothing.
but obviously this isn't nothing.
cause every time we talk I leave feeling horrible about the things I just said.




disguising problems as something else is so easy when you're me.
I've been doing it ever since I can remember.
I just realized, I've been pretending for so long.
Using metaphors, making jokes, and writing songs isn't necessarily
my way to cope, more my way to hide.




I can't sit still anymore.
I've been sitting here since I can remember
all I want to do is get up and run as fast as I can
cause I know, eventually I'll get there.
but we all know that's not gonna happen
cause that's way to far for me to run all alone.
but honestly I don't know what else to do anymore.
all I know is i have to do it.
all I need is someone to tell me how.


someone wanna buy me a one way ticket for Easter?
that'd be nice.



QUOTES;



Just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I don't like you.
I opened my mouth and I tried and I tried
and besides, you're probably holding hands
with some skinny pretty girlthat likes to talk about bands
and all I want to do is ride bikes with you
and stay up late and watch cartoons.

- The Moldy Peaches; Nothing came out


Of course I like you.
It's because I like you
that I don't want to be with you.
It's a complicated emotion.

- Finding Nemo