I'm a broken record.

Once again; three topics --

Don't hate me for something I don't mean to do
and don't get angry when I say that I don't know.
I know you want the honest truth;
the honest truth is that I don't know.
I have no idea,
no clue.
maybe I'm scared
or just not used to this.

I'm sorry, for all the mistakes I keep making.
you must hate me so much.
but that's exactly it; I'm trying so hard not to make mistakes anymore
but I guess there's somethings i just don't know how to not screw up.
I'm so used to brushing things off and pretending that they're nothing.
but obviously this isn't nothing.
cause every time we talk I leave feeling horrible about the things I just said.




disguising problems as something else is so easy when you're me.
I've been doing it ever since I can remember.
I just realized, I've been pretending for so long.
Using metaphors, making jokes, and writing songs isn't necessarily
my way to cope, more my way to hide.




I can't sit still anymore.
I've been sitting here since I can remember
all I want to do is get up and run as fast as I can
cause I know, eventually I'll get there.
but we all know that's not gonna happen
cause that's way to far for me to run all alone.
but honestly I don't know what else to do anymore.
all I know is i have to do it.
all I need is someone to tell me how.


someone wanna buy me a one way ticket for Easter?
that'd be nice.



QUOTES;



Just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I don't like you.
I opened my mouth and I tried and I tried
and besides, you're probably holding hands
with some skinny pretty girlthat likes to talk about bands
and all I want to do is ride bikes with you
and stay up late and watch cartoons.

- The Moldy Peaches; Nothing came out


Of course I like you.
It's because I like you
that I don't want to be with you.
It's a complicated emotion.

- Finding Nemo

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Everyday people say things they don't mean.
and sure, maybe you mean it now.
but give it some time, let's see where you are in two weeks
you'll probably be on a whole different page or who knows, maybe a whole different book.
all I'm saying is somethings are hard to believe,it's not that I don't believe you,
you're just hard to believe.

Why is it this problem seems to come around about once every 2 minutes ?
It's impossible for me to sit back and let things happen.
I always need to be in control and I can't stand it.

Everyone tells that it's my purpose and that it will happen, if I give it time.
But how can I give it time when it's all I think about.
Every waking moment of my life is spent daydreaming and I feel like there's nothing I can do to change it.

Do you care about all the little things or anything at all ?

-alot on my mind today.


I can't believe I actually kinda might've missed you.
why are things so hard for me to explain ?
one minute I hate you, the next I don't hate you.
at all.
why am I so unsure about the one thing most people can be so sure about ?
-- go ahead and make your move, the clocks ticking.

Some ideas seem so great when you're putting them to action.but they don't always work out the way you plan.

Things work how the way they're supposed to.
So don't stress, cause you'll always have me.
No matter how many times you come crying.
Remember that.
cause I can't guarantee i will, but I'll always try to be your backbone.

It's what you do to me.

I found out today, that my truth is okay.

I was panicking wondering when you'd be back

but now I know, you're merely 10 minutes away.

I'm scared to do this again

but I know if I want things to work out this is how it's going to have to be.

-I shouldn't love you the way I do.

" Once was enough. "

Honestly, you say ?
Honesty's what you want, honesty's what you get.

Honestly; I'm bored, bored of still being where I am and repeating the same thing again and again.
I'm sick, sick of waiting around for something to happen, Sick of wondering when I'll see you again
,sick of remembering you, while I'm on the bus and trying to hide my uncontrolable smile.
I'm tired, tired of having to lie to make you happy, tired of waiting for you, tired of wondering what the hell you're thinking.
I wonder, yes, I still wonder if we made the right choices, I wonder what people are really thinking, what their true intentions are, why girls over think everything, why I happen to have that trait and most of all what you think of me.
I can't wait, to get out of here, to see you.
I forget, what you look like, where I'm going and how my room looks in natural sunlight.
I wish, I wish people trusted me more, I wish I wasn't just doing my homework tonight, I wish you knew me better, I wish I knew you better, I wish I could remember your smile, I wish things ended different, I wish I hadn't told you the truth and I wish I didn't change my mind and lie, I wish you knew how I felt.

But most of all I hope, that my wishes will come true, that someday soon my room will be filled with natural sunlight, that you'd see the light, that I was trustworthy, that everyone knew the truth and that I was with you and we were very far away.