perfect .

She covers her face,
layers upon layers
of artificial beauty
she wishes would never come off.
She straightens her hair
because beauty is always
only one more trend away.

diet pills are like fairy tales
to this teenage girl,
they tell her everything she should one day be
and as she takes them in
she dreams about the girl she'll never be.

anorexia and bulimia are minor details
of her life from day to day.
It's not a battle if you give in
and forgiveness is granted
if you remember to pray.

eyes out of focus, light headedness and migraines.
the side affects don't seem to bother her much.
when asked, she's okay.
eating can wait for another day.
saving her calories
so she can afford to forget
Friday night.

sometimes she forgets to smile.
getting high is just another escape,
reminding her what it's like not to care.
She can do anything.
fly, feeling the wind through her hair.

She doesn't deserve what affection she's given
but she takes what she can get.
she doesn't care if she's got his undivided attention,
only that he's in the least bit hers.
getting attached is easy for her
so she does as best she can to avoid it.

She puts a razor to her wrist.
The contrast between the cold metal sinking into her flesh
and the warm blood dripping down her forearm
make her feel secure
and tell her that there's balance in everything.
even the bad.

she's reckless,
she gets into fights with complete strangers
just so she'll have someone to take her anger out on.
she hasn't cried in months
and everyday she fights to hold her tears back
is another day she wishes she didn't have to.

She's a perfectionist
but nothing's perfect
so she's gotta fight to make it as close as possible.
She's a control freak
but she can't control the world around her.
All she can control is herself.
All she can control are the things that control her most.