Everyone left while I was gone.

I realized --
somethings don't matter;
somethings get old fast;
alot of things get boring too fast;
some people aren't worth as much energy as is spent on them.

I could be spending my energy on more important things and people.
I should be spending my energy on more important things and people.

I guess I kind of wondered what the point was.
I know what I was thinking and I know there's still a small part of me thinking it.
But amidst all the commotion I tend to lose myself.
and then tend to find myself, only with a bigger magnifying glass than the time before.
I just didn't want to have to find myself this time.

I guess what I'm saying is I didn't want to waste my time
and if something like that is supposed to happen or is worth my time
then it'll happen.

Meanwhile I can make more important things happen, more important people happy.

I didn't mean it.

"I don't mean it like that."
I find myself rehearsing the way that it'll come out next time I have to say that to you.
It happens so often I've become immune to saying it everytime something slips out.
Everytime something doesn't happen the way I want it to.
Everytime I talk to you.
Everytime I look at you.

We all make mistakes.
but I know it wasn't a mistake.
You said it yourself
so why do you make it seem like it was now?

I understand, but don't do it again.
It's hard to understand.
It's kinda .. bittersweet.
I'm sorry and I hate you.

But I don't mean it like that.

WhenIfallWillYourunToCatchme?

         just one tear by : K.L. mahon

"But they don't know do they? Only I know they only know my outer self, Only I know my inner self they don't know my sorrow.My anger. My guilt.They don't know the conflict inside me the arguments the fights the cruel horrible fights."

"I learned something from that tear I learned that sometimes you can be sure you know everything about the way you feel then suddenly you can realize that your wrong deep down you find what is not expected and everything is different."

sHUtUP.!

Don't get to close
cause it spreads like thread
It'll turn to all that you dread
and your patients will rise like bread
Before you know it Ill mess things up
and when i try to apologize
you wont want to hear it.
SHUTUP.!

Idiot.

Idiot here reporting for duty.
Whats my mission sir?
I greet commands of stupidity and idiocy

Stupid here, reporting for duty.
Whats my mission Ma'am?
I'll do anything to be seen
but please don't be too mean
Or ill hit you like a bad gene.